Not the W.I.  not our W.I. I can’t believe it!  They’d never…I mean our president would never allow it…would she?   I know about the Calendar Girls and all that but surely a lap dancing class in the village hall is a bit much.  I mean the Mothers’ Union meet there and the Brownies, just think of the example it’s setting them.  What would Brown Owl say?

We’ve had all sorts of other classes, aerobics and keep fit and what not. We’ve had some dances too, and dancing classes.  They used to do Scottish Country dancing at one time.  That was years ago when Mrs McSporran was president.  When she went back to Scotland the classes sort of fizzled out – well it wasn’t the same without the bagpipes.

Then we had a lady talk to us about belly dancing – I must admit I thought it was ballet dancing,  you know Swan Lake and all that.  Mustn’t  have read my programme properly. As turned out,  it was quite interesting.  I’ll never forget when old Mrs whatshername wanted to have a go. She must weigh about twenty stone and she’s older than me and I’ve got my bus pass.  But she’s a game old bird, give her her due.  A pity she overdid it, though.  The paramedics were very kind and she was out of hospital within a couple of days.

Last year they went in for Line Dancing.  All dressed up as cowboys – or cowgirls I suppose you’d call ‘em.  A lot of stamping and clapping and shouting  “You hoo!”  A bit too much noise for my taste.

But lap dancing!  I ask you!  I don’t know what the W.I. is coming to.  I’m sure our founder members would turn in their graves – those that have passed on, that is.  I don’t know what our programme secretary was thinking of .  I know it’s hard to get good speakers and travel costs can mount up if they live a distance away, but really…I’ll have to get our president to have a word with her.

I’ll just check what it says for tonight’s meeting.  Oh dear, I’d not realised I’m down as one of the tea hostesses so I’ll have to turn up. It’s a Miss Dora something – some name I can’t pronounce, probably she’s foreign.  What’s this?  There’s been a correction to the programme.  A typo, as our secretary would say.  The talk is “My Life as a Tap Dancer” from Blackpool Pier to the London Palladium.


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